Two birthdays from late February —
On the 23rd: Happy Birthday, Uncle Mike!
On the 28th: Happy Birthday, Dyan!
And, finally, here are the top ten snowball throws from our fun snow day on February 5th. Some of the names may have been mixed up because it’s been so long, but I guarantee I got the important ones right. 🙂
10. The Gut Shot
Though we were aiming at the snowman’s head most of the time, quite a few throws ended up a little short. Every snowball that hit in the snowman’s chest area made a loud thump as it exploded into a million pieces. Eric and Dan’s throws, which had above-average velocity, sounded quite impressive, and often caused one or more of the snowman’s mulch buttons to fall off. THUMP! “Oooooohhhhhh!”
9. Point Blank
We really wanted to keep Hunter involved in the fun by giving him some chances to hit the snowman. Of course, since he’s only 3.5 years old, he should get the benefit of being a little closer. So, we gave him a snowball while he was standing a mere three feet away. For the extra advantage that every kid deserves, one of us proceeded to LIFT HIM UP so that he could throw downward at the snowman. Hunter did not disappoint at all — he connected several times. Nice work!
8. Battle Damage
As I mentioned above, when a snowball impacted on the surface of the snowman, it made a loud thump. What we soon realized is that each successful throw causes him to lose a bit of mass. As the snowman’s face was hit more and more frequently, he began to look gaunt and thin, almost like a skeleton. To keep the party moving, we took a short break and made the necessary repairs. Once the snowman had a significantly pudgy face, we resumed our attack.
7. Crash!
Okay, this is more of a SLED impact than a snowball impact, but it definitely belongs in the top ten. After pulling Hunter around the house a couple of times, he asked me to pull the sled directly into the snowman — with him in it. After assessing the potential of injury with this stunt, I asked Hunter, “Are you sure?” He quickly nodded his head, “Yeah!” We lined up the sled as best we could, and we were off. I ran right at the snowman, moving to the side at the last second. CRUNCH! The sled, which went up in the air a little bit, actually got stuck in the snowman’s lower third and needed to be pried out. Hunter laughed and smiled throughout the whole ordeal. In fact, I don’t remember why we didn’t make another attempt. Oh well.
6. Have a Cigar
This was one of my best throws (I think). The carrot nose had fallen off several times during the course of the afternoon. One of these hilarious incidents is detailed in the top five. Before getting to that, I’ll write about my well-aimed throw that connected, literally, right on the nose. I wasn’t throwing excessively hard, but this throw of mine was the straw that broke the camel’s back — as the snow dust cleared, we noticed that the carrot had split in two. One part of it was still in the correct place, but the other part had fallen to the ground. Uncle Dan quickly found a quick and easy repair solution — the snowman had a smaller nose AND a cigar next to his mouth (which, by the way, was made of pine tree leaves).
5. The Tommy I “Super Size” Throw
As we continued to pelt the snowman, we noticed that my dad’s throws, though not as fast as Eric or Dan’s, made a more significant impact when they connected. A bit of careful observation showed us the cause — Dad was heaving softball-sized projectiles, and doing it rather well! We all joined in the foray, throwing the occasional grapefruit. The battle damage was extreme. 🙂
4. The Arm-Splitter
Causing a carrot to break in two is one thing — Uncle Dan one-upped that accomplishment when one of his blazing-fast snowballs split the snowman’s left arm into two pieces. Ouch. One would expect the entire arm to just fall out of the snowman’s body. It must have been well-embedded, because after this throw, the arm was still stuck there — half of it, anyway.
3. The Blurred Face
What happens when someone with the power to break wood with compacted snow happens to throw said snow in the perfect spot on the snowman’s face? SPLAT! Uncle Dan connected with a snowball somewhere in the mouth/nose area, and it caused EVERY facial feature to fall to the ground. Two eyes of coal, a carrot nose, the pine mouth, the cigar, and the hat all flew off. Our snowman suddenly had no face at all. Time to rebuild again!
2. Put It Back Where It Belongs
This was far the funniest moment of the entire day. One of our early throws knocked the carrot to the ground. When Hunter saw this, he immediately ran over to the snowman, planning to fix the situation. We obviously stopped throwing at this point — and I began walking toward Hunter, planning to lift him up so that he could repair the nose. Hunter, however, decided to do it all himself. He placed the carrot in the snowman perfectly — well, except that it was a bit low. So, the carrot wasn’t sticking out of the snowman’s face anymore. It was… uh… somewhere else. Hunter moved away from the snowman so that we could resume throwing, but we were all laughing too hard. We laughed even harder when we saw Grandpa Milt peering outside from the living room window. His “what’s going on out there?” look said it all, and it made us laugh even harder. Grandpa Milt eventually walked out on to the porch with a bit of advice for us:
“Someone better put that carrot back where it belongs.”
Hey, it wasn’t our fault — Hunter was the one who put it there. And it was obviously a representation of the snowman’s bellybutton. Yeah, that’s it. 🙂
1. The Throw to End All Throws
We were all getting a little bit tired, but we were enjoying this little game too much to quit. I can’t remember the last time so many of us in the family were together and having this kind of fun. However, when Eric made the throw to end all throws, we knew we were done. Eric hit the snowman with a speeding bullet right between the eyes. The force of the blow caused the snowman’s head to lean back and separate from the snowman’s body. The snowman paused for a moment… as if looking toward the heavens… right before his head CRASHED to the ground. So, call it whatever you like — the decapitator, the clock-cleaner, whatever — I’ll always call it the throw to end all throws.
We quickly rolled a new head for the snowman and fixed him up as good as new before calling it a day. Good clean family fun — there’s nothing quite like it.
